February 23, 2023

It was no sooner that I finally began my shadow work that I found myself smack at the beginning of another level of spiritual awakening. If you are unfamiliar with what a spiritual awakening is, let me try to explain. In simple terms, a spiritual awakening is a sudden awakening or awareness of a higher consciousness, sense of self, or a complete shattering of what you once believed your current reality to be. It’s a sense that there has to be something more to life. Like something is missing. Or a need to find your purpose in life. For me, it was all of these things. And there was nothing simple about it!

My first awakening began in 2020. I kept having this nagging feeling that there had to be more to life. I felt like I needed to find my purpose. Like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. This is also when I began to believe in a power greater than myself (again). For about 8 years, I considered myself an atheist. I still prefer not to use the term God when I refer to this higher power. For me, I prefer to refer to this higher power as the Universe, Source Energy or the Divine. For me, my awakening has nothing to do with religion. In fact, it is quite the opposite. My belief has nothing to do with religion.

For the longest time, I had no idea what people meant when they said they were spiritual, but not religious. Now I totally get it! Growing up in such a religious household, I had never considered the idea of separating religion from God. It wasn’t until I read (actually listened to) the Conversations With God series by Neale Donald Walsch, that I realized I could believe in a God that wasn’t tied to religion. It seemed like such a foreign concept to me until then. This book series changed my life and the way I see things. I have listened to parts of it over and over again.

From 2020 until now, my spiritual growth had been steady, but sort of stagnant for quite some time. I wasn’t necessarily doing anything to help continue my growth. Once I finally made the choice to do some healing, I realized a few days later that I was feeling something familiar.

Here is an excerpt from my journal once I realized what was happening:

“It appears that I am right in the beginning of another awakening. I am leveling up. Part of it feels like I am starting completely over. Like I am questioning my whole life purpose again.”

I honestly don’t know if I have ever felt that I exactly found my purpose, but I had been heading in the right direction. Now here I am, feeling as though I am starting the process all over again. I was having this realization at work during the middle of the day. I texted my husband, who is much busier than I am during the day. He doesn’t often have time to ponder life’s greatest questions during the day! But I was feeling lost and needed a connection. I texted my husband and asked him 3 very poignant questions. Questions that definitely not meant to be discussed over a text message during the middle of a busy work day! Here’s what I asked:

“Do you think you know what your purpose is here on this earth? Do you think you could have an idea of what it might be and then be wrong about it? Do you think you could have God put a desire in your heart if you weren’t meant to manifest it?” (I use the term God here, because that is the term my husband is most comfortable using). I sent a follow up text asking him to please excuse the next level of my spiritual awakening!

I mean, imagine getting asked this in the middle of your busy day! I was deep in it and felt like I needed the answers right then and there. That’s the thing with an awakening. It can feel like a constant search for answers. And I should know by now that these answers are not going to show up immediately.

So, instead of getting all caught up in the idea of starting over again, I am embracing this leveling up. I am looking forward to what the near future has in store for me, despite my knowing that it likely will be a bumpy ride. I know one thing for sure, I am journaling all that I can during this time. One of my regrets during my initial awakening was not journaling the process. So much goes on internally that you tend to forget. This time, I am taking notes and I am sharing with you as well! Maybe it will help someone on their own spiritual journey ❤

Rebecca

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